Healing

This post may seem too personal for my acting journal, but this is a huge can of worms that I'm working through, and I'm discovering that if I write about it here, a connection to the Universe is opened to help make things right. (Some of you may recognize this post, I had it up before for all of 5 hours I think before I freaked out and removed it. But now I know why I need to post it.)

Imagine that there's something you've been wanting for a long time. You see it all around you, but somehow you haven't been able to find it for yourself. Or if you do happen to find it, you feel you have to fight to keep it, but it always slips out of your grasp anyways. And as time goes by, even though you continue to search, struggle, and hope, you begin to believe that you'll never find it, that you're not supposed to have it.

And then one day, out of the blue, someone walks up to you and just hands you this very thing. "Here you go!"

What?!?--Wait. Are you sure this is for me? Is this really what I think it is? Why are you giving it to me? Are you sure I'm supposed to have it? And you start to freak out because now that this thing you've been struggling so long to find has been handed to you, now that it's actually in your possession, you have no fucking clue what to do with it.

Yeah, that's been me for a while now, even though I've logically realized that because someone gave this to me freely, I don't have to fight to keep it.

I give myself permission to break this old habit of stress, worry, and fear once and for all.

I give myself permission to create a new habit of love, trust, and openess.

I give myself permission to relax and enjoy this wonderful, warm new friendship, sharing it with the person who gave it to me.

I give myself permission to be happy.