Today in class, one of the first things Scott started talking to us about was that we are not playing a character in our scenes, we are being ourselves inside the given circumstances of the scene. We should not be judging our performances within the scene. (I found that very pertinent to what I wrote yesterday.)
Repetition was fun today, especially in the circle, someone called me on something, and I was already giggly, and she was giggly, and next thing I know we're both laughing hysterically at nothing really. I think about half the circle was laughing with us, and the other half was like, "What's so funny?" It was awesome, I love being able to laugh hysterically, even if everyone thinks I'm crazy. It's a really fun way to let off stress.
Then after the repetition exercises, Scott commented on someone's honest but off the wall behavior during the exercise, and then he commented on my behavior, how I had cracked up laughing a few times. He said it was honest and beautiful because it was honest, and that's what we should be looking for in our scenes. Scott said that if inside my scene I'm laughing and enjoying my actions, that's totally okay, why shouldn't I be enjoying it? (That seemed like a direct reply to what I had written on my blog yesterday, maybe he found my blog?)
Then after the repetition exercises, Scott commented on someone's honest but off the wall behavior during the exercise, and then he commented on my behavior, how I had cracked up laughing a few times. He said it was honest and beautiful because it was honest, and that's what we should be looking for in our scenes. Scott said that if inside my scene I'm laughing and enjoying my actions, that's totally okay, why shouldn't I be enjoying it? (That seemed like a direct reply to what I had written on my blog yesterday, maybe he found my blog?)
After that we started working as a group with pyschological gestures in conjunction with our scenes. I'm attempting to keep the sense of play that I found yesterday, especially after what Scott said in class today, but at the same time, I think what I discovered in rehearsal yesterday was too playful and giggly for the given circumstances, Annie definitely feels hurt and betrayed by Paul. In yesterday's rehearsal, the circumstances I was working off of was being happy my partner came through, and actually having the power in the scene without having to fight for it.
So in today's exercise, at first I tried the same gesture that I had used in class on Tuesday, but I discovered that it made me too frantic and serious. So I adjusted my gesture, slowed it down, slamming my fist into my palm slowly, twisting and crushing, "Squish." I think that worked a little bit better, it maintained the sense of hurt and rage at being betrayed, but added in the sense of "I'm going to enjoy my revenge." But at the same time I found myself judging my performance, because it wasn't nearly as playful as it had been yesterday. (Sometimes I wish I could just turn my mind off.) The thing that was really bugging me, though, was Paul asks me, "You want me to burn my book?" and I say, "Yes." and that one word came out as if it were a mini-soap opera both times. Deep, throaty, melodramatic voice, shoulders back, chest out, "Yes, Paul. You must burn your book." Took me out of the moment immediately both times because it was so ridiculous.
So in today's exercise, at first I tried the same gesture that I had used in class on Tuesday, but I discovered that it made me too frantic and serious. So I adjusted my gesture, slowed it down, slamming my fist into my palm slowly, twisting and crushing, "Squish." I think that worked a little bit better, it maintained the sense of hurt and rage at being betrayed, but added in the sense of "I'm going to enjoy my revenge." But at the same time I found myself judging my performance, because it wasn't nearly as playful as it had been yesterday. (Sometimes I wish I could just turn my mind off.) The thing that was really bugging me, though, was Paul asks me, "You want me to burn my book?" and I say, "Yes." and that one word came out as if it were a mini-soap opera both times. Deep, throaty, melodramatic voice, shoulders back, chest out, "Yes, Paul. You must burn your book." Took me out of the moment immediately both times because it was so ridiculous.
And I'm still not convinced that I am actually connecting to and responding to my scene partner. I feel more connected to myself, and to my actions, I don't feel like I'm doing nothing anymore, but in rehearsal this afternoon, I didn't feel like I was doing anything to my partner. I was simply holding character and action while he said his lines, and then I intellectually picked what action I was going to take next. I was playing at being playful. Just gotta keep reminding myself not to judge, and just be honest in the moment. If it doesn't come out playful, that's okay. If it does come out playful, that's okay, too. As long as it's honest, and I am really reacting to my partner. Rar.
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