Another thing that's bothering me about my work in Boot Camp II: I'm beginning to find myself again in that self-concious place where I don't know what to do with myself physically while I'm performing. I don't have a problem with it during repetition, but for example today both in my monologue and while rehearsing the Misery scene, I had no clue what to do with myself physically. The monologue wasn't so bad over all, I allowed myself to simply stand still if movement didn't come naturally, but there was one point where I hugged myself, and I could feel how fake the movement was, even though the emotional connection behind it was deep and honest.
And while rehearsing our scene, I feel like I have no clue what to do with myself, and that really really bothers me. I'm finding some actions, but at other times I feel so ungrounded and unconnected to myself, to the character, to the scene, to my partner, I'm just standing there like a total dork, "What the hell am I doing here? I should be doing something." (I should be focusing on my partner, right?!?)
The only thing I can think of for this back-slide is that I'm not going to the Daily Acting Workout anymore, and there's no movement class in Boot Camp II. So perhaps I should start by exploring some of the movement stuff we learned in BCI, since I can't afford DAW this time around.
2 comments:
You seem to have the same issues I had when I got started. The first year and a half of acting, my inner negative dialog was very loud. And it definitly took some of the joy away, but I knew deep down that this acting thing was my purpose and destiny so I kept plugging away. Now that voice is much quiter and I am expericing much joy at acting.
The other issue is the disconnetion with the body. I had the same feelings. What do I do with my hands? My body movements don't seem forced, etc.. Two things helped me out. Learning viewpoints, and I highly suggest learning this because it is like Miesner for the body, and the other is learning that if I am noticing my body and how awkward it feels then that is a flag alert that I am not focusing on the other actor and the envirenmont of the scene. I just had to learn to trust my self and focus and now I don't worry or feel awkward much at all anymore. Hope this helps. Loving your blog!
DOn
couple of types in previous post.
1) After the first paragraph I meant to say that if you keep plugging then I am sure the voice and doubts will subside as you get more experience. And I know you feel that acting is all important to you so that will keep you going.
2) "my body movements DON't seem" should read "my body movements DO seem"
thats all.
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