Just Breathe...

Just breathe...I keep repeating this to myself, but despite my best efforts, I am awake at 4 am, again. My body is still on amber alert, and the smallest provocation threatens to bring back the headache and stomach knots that I managed to keep at bay while working in my uncle's office yesterday, barely by a thread at one point.

So the stupid thing is this time it's really nothing to stress over. I need to pick a new character name for myself for A Faery Hunt! That's all. After the expo on Sunday, Debbie (who is the creator of the show) contacted me and requested that I change my character name from Pilliwiggin, because even though the LA Pilliwiggin is currently on maternity leave, she will be back next year, and Debbie would like to keep her picture and character name on the website, and she wants to add the OC cast, which means I need a new name. And I've put the stress on myself that I have to pick a name before the preview performance on Saturday. Debbie suggested Peaseblossom from Shakespear's A Midsummer Night's Dream, because it has history, you type that name into google and you find stuff. Cynthia, my director, suggested Whimsythistle (my favorite among her suggestions), which is a better match with the rest of the OC cast's names. Personally, I really like Buttercup or Honeysuckle. And I don't know which to choose because I don't want to offend anyone.

Moving on...thank you so much to those of you who have commented on my Managing Stress post, I really appreciate your support and kind words! Another super-supportive friend wrote me an e-mail: "...there is a silver lining to being independent. Your personal growth is now in a unique position to flourish...understand that your life is EXACTLY as it is supposed to be...one of God's greatest gifts is unanswered prayers. Have faith that if things did work with this guy you liked, it wouldn't have been the best thing for you in the end."

And that kind of goes hand in hand with Don's comments. And I think deep down inside, I knew all of this already. That's not to say that in the back of my mind I don't think there could be a possibility with this guy several years down the road and maybe that's why things are not supposed to work out with him now, (you know, "Here's where she meets Prince Charming, but she won't discover that it's him 'til Chapter Three.") but that's pure wishful thinking on my part at this point, that's one of the fantasies I seem to love building, even when it hurts like hell to let it go. "I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming..."

Anyhow. Come see my shining palace built upon the sand.

Thanks everyone!