Breathless

I just got back from my audition for Answers at STC Conservatory, and I'm still breathless. I think the audition went well, but I didn't do as well as I had personally hoped and imagined that I would. I was very nervous, not necessarily because I was auditioning, but because I had to create a believable character so different from my own personality, I wasn't really sure I could do that.

There was only one other young woman there auditioning besides me. I heard her reading through the curtains between the lobby and the stage, and I know I did better than she did. But a lot of the guys did really well, and the role I auditioned for was originally written for a man.

Anyhow, since it is a short play with only 3 characters, the director had us read together in threes. Everyone went in twice, in different groupings, different characters for the guys, reading a different section the second time.

I think my biggest disappointment in my audition was that I didn't bring the character to life physically nearly as much as I wanted to, in my movements and interactions with the other characters. But movement is something I've had trouble with in my scenework as well, I'm never quite sure what to do with myself. I also wanted her to be hard, but have some femininity as well, like Angelina Jolie, but I don't think I was successful in creating that duality. It seemed as if the parts of the script we were reading didn't create an opportunity for that, but maybe I just hadn't discovered them yet.

It was hard to tell from the director's face what she thought, but she was considering all three of us at the same time. Brian was there watching the auditions as well, and after the director said the three of us could go home, he called me over as the other two left the stage. He reminded me in a warm and friendly manner that I needed to put my hair back off my face. DOH! I knew that, I just completely forgot. I apologized, but he said it was okay, that's what the conservatory is for, is to learn. He said it's important to keep my hair off my face so that they could see my work. The impression I got while he was telling me all this was that he really liked my audition, even if they couldn't see my face.

By this point, I was letting all my nerves go, and all the harshness of the character go, I think I was starting to hyperventilate just a touch, and Brian looked at me, and asked in an almost amused tone, "Are you okay?" I was like, "Yeah!" and I smiled. But it was really a tough audition for me, creating such a harsh, mean character, and attempting to control my nerves on top of it. But I'm okay now, finally decompressing. *Phew!*

Anyhow, I'll know tomorrow if I've been cast or not.