I am so bored. Bored bored bored bored. RAR! Today was another puttering around the house day. I got my bills paid, I spent a good hour submitting myself for various speaking roles on Now Casting (literally half that time was spent waiting for the pages to load, every time I clicked on a project, or the back button to go back to the Casting Notices page--so frickin' slow!)
I am discontent and frustrated. I am worried about wearing the wrong thing to Central Casting tomorrow for the pic they take which the CDs use to cast you. I am worried about being able to book myself, about getting enough work booking myself, and about not having a good enough wardrobe to get a calling service. I am frustrated about pulling the money together to buy wardrobe, because being an extra is not my ultimate goal. And the clothes I would probably need for my acting type are different than the clothes I'd need for background work.
There are also open call auditions in two weeks at a local theater that pays a stipend to it's actors. I would like to go because the more you audition the better you get at it. I would also like to be cast because then I can work on using the skills I learned in the Actor's Boot Camp. But if I do get cast, I am afraid I won't be able to work background, there's no way I'd make it back from LA in time for rehearsals.
I am still worried about letting my massage business go, mostly out of fear. Fear about loosing that little bit of extra income my occasional clients provide. Fear that if I do end up getting a job at a day spa, I won't have the flexibility in my schedule that I need. Fear that if I let go now, all the money I put into my massage education and my business will be money down the drain, because I won't find my way back to massage, as a job or a business, and it seems like so many of the choices I make lead to money down the drain, and I'm sick of it!
Anyhow, I still have dishes to wash, lawns to water now that the sun has gone down, laundry to do, and I'm still bored. Blah.
2 comments:
I feel like this sometimes, especially after we move some place new. I always have a feeling of not belonging. I hate having to look for new employment. I hate not having an income. I hate having to worry about how I am going to get the kids here and there after I have employment. I hate worrying about if my husband is going to be deployed overseas. Stress, Stress, Stress...We can whine together. It will be a friend thing.
Marsha,
You made my day! I'm so glad you understand, and it's not just me!
Thank you!
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