The Verdict

So I just got a call from The Acting Corps regarding my audition for the Advanced Program. I didn't get accepted this time. My instructors feel I need to repeat the Boot Camp II, as well as take a voice/movement class (Fitzmorris Technique) and then I would be ready for the Advanced Program.

I totally agree with their decision, for a couple of reasons. First, I am compeletly aware of the gap between my skills in a repetition and in a scene. Watching my scenework on video, my performances lacked any real spark of life, of really living in and reacting to the given circumstances of the scene, even when I was connected to my partner. I could also feel the difference between the two, in a repetition I would feel vibrant, connected, and totally un-self-concious, but in my scenes I was always somewhat aware of myself. Plus I think I was starting to get mired down in the self-judgemental attitude of "doing it right" as opposed to just having fun. For example, what I wrote about flirting with my friend as "Debbie", I was totally alive in those moments, while being "someone else" under imaginary circumstances--but I wasn't really someone else; I was myself, allowing myself to act differently than I would normally. And I didn't think about anything other than the moment I was in, and flirting with "Juan". And that's what scenework should feel like. It should feel like a repetition, it should feel totally alive.

Second, I don't have my head wrapped around finding a good, strong objective for a scene yet, I feel like I'm not even close, and just for myself I would want to have a better understanding of that before going into the Advanced Program. I've talked with some of the students already in the AP, and they said the scenes are longer. If I can't even get a short scene figured out, how would I be able to handle a longer scene?

The good news is that the BCII classes are less expensive than the AP classes, so I can go back sooner than I would be able to otherwise, even just to take the Fitzmorris class to start out with.