Catch 22

The decision regarding my massage business has been made. Yesterday, I spoke with the nutritionist who has been allowing me to use a room in her office. She is on the same page as I am: it's not worth the money for her to renew the Massage Establishment Permit she was required to get so that I could have my business in her office. She said that at some point if I want to try again, and actually have the money (and the motivation) to promote my business, we can discuss it at that time, and I appreciate her not officially closing the door, but as I wrote previously, I think when I do get the money together to get a new massage technician permit/liscense, it's probably better to find something in the LA area.

In the state of California, each city liscenses massage therapists separately. (And each city sets it's own requirements for liscensing). That means if I get a liscence in the City of Brea, that's the only city I can legally work in. Some cities do not allow massage at all, some only allow massage in a massage establishment (day spa, massage studio, any business that meets all the health and saftey requirements to be a massage establishment). Some cities do allow outcall (going to people's homes or businesses), some only if you work out of a liscensed establishment, some cities do not allow outcall at all. My professional liability insurance does not cover anything that I do not have the proper permits for. So you can see my problem. It would be crazy to get a permit for every city in order to be able to go to people's homes, and my liability insurance doesn't cover me otherwise. Plus, there's the possibility of going to jail and/or getting fined by the city. And yes, thousands of massage therapists go to people's homes every day here in CA, but in Orange County especially, most of them are probably not liscenced, nor do they have liability insurance. The American Massage Therapy Association (the professional association that provides my liability insurance) is working on getting a law passed for state-wide liscensing, which will resolve the issue. But until then, I am choosing not to go to people's homes to give massages.

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I've called most of my massage clients to see if they wanted to make an appointment, and to inform them that my business will be officially closing on Aug 29th. I actually only got 2 additional appointments from that.

So by offering that to my clients, I've pretty much shut the door on the temp work option, at least for the next few weeks. As for background work, I have a minimal wardrobe at the moment, basically just very casual clothing. I would need to get a couple of upscale suits, upscale casual, and hospital scrubs. Scrubs are easy and cheap enough to get, I'm gonna watch a re-run episode of Grey's Anatomy to find out what color most of the extras are wearing--that's been one of my fears holding me back from getting scrubs before now, that I would buy the wrong color and not get work because of that.

And I feel like I'm caught in a catch 22--I need money in order to make money. I need money to buy clothing so I can get more work as a background extra and make more money. I need money as an actor in order to get headshots, postcards, online submission services, networking groups, classes, etc, so that I can get work and make more money. I need money to advertise and promote my businesses (massage and Mary Kay) so I can make more money. I feel like I'm caught in a black hole of making money in order to spend money in order to make money, and I'll never get ahead, it goes out as soon as it comes in. Which I guess is why most people get a regular 9-5 job working for someone else. Blah.

But that's why I learned massage in the first place, because it was supposed to be my high-paying job, and I suppose it still can be if I get a job in a spa, but I got sidetracked and decided I wanted to start my own business. And in theory that was a good idea, I would have total flexibility to audition and/or work. But I had no idea how to effectively promote my business, and not enough money to advertise, and not enough motivation to learn what I needed to learn to make my business successful.

As for the Mary Kay, my Inner Brat is basically throwing a temper tantrum: "I DON'T WANT TO! I DON'T LIKE IT! IT'S TOO HARD!" And I don't like selling, ten years ago I sold Cutco Cutlery--which is a great, high quality product--but I hated the feeling that I was manipulating people into buying product or giving me their friends names and phone numbers so I could contact them. I felt like the bad guy. And that's part of the issue I have with Mary Kay, and I knew it would be a problem when I signed up, but it still seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up. And I'm slowly coming around to the idea that it is a good opportunity if I just put in the effort, and I need to find a way to quiet my inner brat, put on my big girl panties and just do what needs to be done.

You know what? Life would just be so much easier if we didn't need money. Living our lives with values similar to the bushmen in Africa or the Native Americans before the settlers showed up and took over. That's what life is really about, isn't it? Just taking care of our basic needs and living in harmony with nature and with our community, having time to spend with the people you care about without being stressed about money, bills, material posessions. Wow, I haven't thought like that for years. I stopped myself a long time ago because it was impractical for our society.