So today was the last day of Boot Camp II. It hasn't quite sunk in yet that this part of my life is over for the time being, the challenges, the growth, the connection, that I won't being seeing any of the people in class on a daily basis anymore.
So, I was thinking about my scene while driving in this morning, and I thought I had an objective figured out, but when we actually started rehearsing, it vanished.
When we started filming in class, our scene was first, and I felt connected to my partner, I felt okay about it. Carrie said I needed to slow down and have more fun. She did not ask me about my objective, so I asked her about it (hoping that maybe since I had been connected to my partner that an objective may have shown up in my performance even if I wasn't aware of it--yeah, this taught me it doesn't work that way.) She said she couldn't see it, that it looked like I was just trying to hurt him (that was the only objective I was able to find that was actually doing something to my partner) Carrie also said that as I got more practice analyzing scenes it would become easier to find objectives. I also asked what some possible objectives were that I could have used, but even though the class was done and I probably won't ever touch the scene again, she still wouldn't give me anything, she asked me, "What are some of the seven you came up with?" (And yes, I came up with a bunch of different objectives, but they were all ideas, it's better to play something you can do directly to the other person to affect them.) And while it really frustrated me that Carrie wouldn't give me anything, I think it was absolutely the right thing for her to do, because I don't learn anything when something is handed to me, and I have a life habit (from the time I was a baby) that I've been working on breaking of waiting for or asking people to hand me something I need when something is "too difficult". And perhaps that is why my brain shut down on this scene, because of that habit. (Sneaky bastard!)
Anyhow, when we watched the scene on video after the break, I could see that I was connected and honestly reacting to my partner. But my performance was unpolished and boring. And I still don't like watching myself, don't like the way I look on camera, the way I move.
BUT I got to dress up for the scene today as if I had been at a New Year's Eve party, did my hair and makeup, wore a nice pair of brown wide-legged slacks, heels, and a sophisticated plum-colored sweater (3/4 sleeve) with a touch of sparkle in the knit. Carrie complimented me that I looked Fabulous, and several of the guys as well, although I think I turned all of the guys' heads today. If that's not too narcissistic of me to say. (It made me realize that I really dress myself down on a day to day basis, clothing and makeup.)
Before class, one of my guy friends just stopped and stared at me, then asked, "Who are you?" So I said, all flirty and sexy, "I'm Debbie." (my character from my scene). He said, "What are you doing here?" So I told him I was ditching my boyfriend at a New Year's Eve party and we were probably going to break up later tonight. Then he started hitting on "Debbie" hardcore, "So you'll be available after tonight?" Standing very close, staring into my eyes. (Wow, it was hot!) I said, "Yeah, probably. What's your name?" He played along and said, "Juan. So do you want to get coffee later tonight, Debbie?" Inside, I was so nervous, but WOO! that was fun! And totally safe, we were just friends again when the game stopped.
Yeah, so that was the last day of class. Still hasn't hit me yet. (Can you tell?)
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