Day 18 (BCII): Business of Show Business

I hardly slept last night. (So much for "Yay for no stress!") I was all worked up over yesterday's events and thinking about the auditions today. I went to bed at 9 pm because I knew I needed to get up early to meet my new scene partner to rehearse About Last Night, but by 1 am I was still awake and tossing and turning. So I got up and did 20 minutes of stretching, and I think I finally fell asleep around 2 am, up at 6:30 am.

Anyhow, I am very happy with my new scene partner, he is very collaborative in rehearsal, and I feel I found so much more about my character's objectives in the first rehearsal with him than I had with my previous parnter. So I'm starting to feel much more comfortable in the scene.

Then in class today, the first half of class was spent picking up the last odds and ends of information about the business of show business, and then after the break the auditions started. And I was so nervous about the auditions, I could hardly breathe and I could feel the energy tingling in my fingertips and my teeth. Even though Scott and Carrie have been telling us since the middle of last week that Eugene isn't looking for a perfect, brilliant performance, he wants to see that we can play, that we can connect with our scene partner, that we're moving forward in that learning process. And even though I know that it was absolutely useless for me to be nervous since I can't afford to take anymore classes right now anyhow. But I was still so very nervous. So during break, I went into the empty classroom upstairs and went through some physical centering and relaxation exercises that I learned in the Daily Acting Workout and Kennedy's movement class in BCI. And then I took some time to focus, to remind myself that everything I needed to know for the scene was inside me, even if I wasn't conciously aware of it. (Which is actually a technique that I used in college right before written exams and I usually got A's or B's, even when I hadn't studied as much as I should have, so I figured it can work for acting too.) I visualized my center connecting on a subconcious level to everything I've worked on for the scene up until this point. And then I just repeated to myself over and over, "Get Paul to burn the book." Because ultimately that's the key to the scene, and both Carrie and Scott told me that at various points. And all the other stuff I'd been working on with essential actions, view point, moment before, given circumstances, psychological gestures, all of that has been internalized and there is no way I can conciously play all of that. And that goes back to what Scott said yesterday about layers being created when you focus on only one thing. So once break was over, I kept my focus on "Get Paul to burn his book" as much as possible while watching the scenes before ours.

So the audition was conducted by Eugene Buica, founder of The Acting Corps; Josie (our business teacher) and Anil Kumar, both of whom teach in the Advanced Program. They decide based on our audition and discussion with our BCII instructors if we will be admitted into the Advanced Program. So the first few scenes, Eugene watched the scene all the way through, then discussed with the actors what their objectives were, then gave them something new to play with as they did the scene again.

When it was our turn, we started the scene (Misery), but I didn't even finish my second line before Eugene stopped us. "That's great," he said, "But I want you to slow it way down. We're crazy people here, so I want you to do it as if you're in slow motion." (I tend to go super-speed when I'm nervous, so I guess I must have still been much more nervous than I realized.) So we started again, and I walked over to Paul's bed much more slowly, but Eugene stopped us again when I put the tray with the manuscript on his lap too quickly. Take two. Then Eugene stopped us fairly quickly again and said, "That's good, but we're crazy people here, so I want you to do the scene, slowly, without words. Think all of your lines, but don't speak." That was interesting, fun, and to be honest I lost track of my lines in my head, wasn't too focused on those since my action was to just keep handing Paul the matches, insisting he burn his book. We actually got to finish the scene that time, and then Eugene said, "Good, now it's in your bodies. So do the scene speaking this time. And take your time and have fun, enjoy it." This time, moving so slowly through everything, I was extremely focused in the scene, aware of every moment, it felt quietly intense. And nobody in the audience laughed this time. When we finished, Eugene asked me, "How did that feel?" I said, "It felt better." I was going to say more, but Eugene moved on, commenting that he wasn't a fan of miming with props. (The bottle I had been using for lighter fluid didn't have any liquid in it, so I was miming when I drenched the manuscript in lighter fluid, and then subsequently started dripping it on the bed blanket.) And that's all Eugene said to me. He had a couple of constructive comments for my partner, but he didn't discuss our objectives with us, or give us a different way to play with the scene. I guess the fact he didn't discuss objectives with us means we both had a solid grasp of what we wanted in the scene. It always scares me a little bit when I don't get any feedback at all, positive or constructive. But I guess in these circumstances "no news is good news"-yeah? Especially since Eugene didn't hold back if he had something constructive to say to anyone, but he didn't really give positive feedback unless someone seemed to need the encouragement to trust themselves and their skills.

Before we started our scene, we were asked which program we were interested in and when we could start, so I said "I'm interested in the Advanced Program or wherever you think I can grow the most, and I probably won't be able to start until January next year." (I'm hoping to have enough money together by then, between birthday/christmas money and working.) We should be contacted by Friday with their decision. If they decide I need to take some of the BCII classes again, I'm totally okay with that, especially since I'll be taking such a long break from classes. In the meantime I would like to participate in the Daily Acting Workout once every two weeks if I can afford to, just to keep in touch with the skills I've learned so far.

But there are still two more days of BCII left, not quite done yet! When I was walking to my car, my previous About Last Night scene partner decided to approach me. He apologized for standing me up, and for being rude. He explained his situation to me, why he had to drop our rehearsals at the drop of a hat. Then he asked me when I wanted to rehearse again. I said, "Actually, I've already been assigned to a new scene partner." He said, "I know, Carrie called me." He then proceeded to say that he knows the scene, that he and I have already rehearsed three times to the one time with my new partner (I was thinking, "Three? Really? Where was I the other two?" The morning we ran lines doesn't count as a rehearsal.) He asked when my new partner and I were rehearsing next, I told him tomorrow morning, and he said, "I can be there." He said he wanted to continue to work with me so that he wouldn't be sitting around on Friday with nothing to do while the rest of us were filming. I told him I'd have to think about it and I'd call him later.

So I thought about it while I drove home, and since I have a choice now, I really didn't want to work with him again, everything considered, his attitude, his conduct during our rehearsal and when we were running lines Monday morning, and quite honestly, I feel the scene has so much more potential with my new partner, I feel much more comfortable working with my new partner. So I called my previous partner as soon as I got home and told him that I didn't feel comfortable working with him again.

And that was today.