It's Raining Men, Hallelujah!

Lol! Maybe not, this might be one of those times when I read too much into it:

I wasn't working today, and I decided I was craving the salmon & asparagus pasta they serve at Pomodoro, so I grabbed my Sanford Meisner On Acting book and off I went. I sat on the patio while I ate and read. (Which was very nice, it's a beautiful day and I sat in the shade, there was a cool breeze.) When I was done with my meal, reading while waiting for my server to bring back my check card and the bill, this very attractive young man, maybe mid-twenties, comes to my table.

"Hey," he says to me with a big friendly smile, "How was your meal? How's the book you're reading?" Then he introduced himself to me, and said, "I'm the owner of the restaurant." We shook hands, and I honestly cannot remember if I gave him my name or not, too caught up in smiling and making eye contact. :P

He asked me what I was reading, so I showed him the cover, and he said that he had read that book, then laughed and said, "No, I haven't." I said I was starting a class on Monday so I was getting a head start on the reading. Then he asked if I was an actor, and why did I need to take a class? I said I need more training. He asked, "Why?" which confused me, because in my mind I thought it would be common sense. I said, "I need to increase my acting skills." and he said, "What kind of skills? Like kissing?" I laughed, but at the same time I'm thinking, Wow, this guy knows nothing about acting, either that or he's totally pulling my leg. So I tried to explain about the Meisner technique, what little I've learned about it from reading the first few chapters of my book, I'm not sure he really understood, not sure I explained it clearly. That's the first conversation I've had with a non-actor with no knowledge of what acting is about. And that's the first time I've realized that there's probably a good chunk of the population out there that has no clue about what is involved with acting. I mean, I knew that most non-actors don't care, but somehow it never occured to me that they don't have that knowledge. Why do I always think that everyone else has the same "common knowledge" that I have?? Gosh, I can be self-centered sometimes!

Anyhow, after that he invited me to stay and read some more, said he'd come back and check on me, see how I was doing with the book. He was all smiles, and he patted my shoulder as he left. I stayed maybe ten more minutes, then I left.

The side of me that likes to create romantic fantasies thinks that the whole conversation took place because he thought I was cute, maybe was interested in me, because there was so much eye contact and smiling, and that line about the kissing--but realistically he was probably simply being friendly to one of his customers, making her feel comfortable and welcome. But still, it was wonderful to have that attention from such an attractive young man. *sigh*

Anyhow, the Meisner book: I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I completely understand what he's talking about, and I think I may take to this technique like a fish to water. But on the other, I worry that I may not have the courage to allow myself to be so honest, that I'll have a difficult time creating honest, powerful and creative purposes for myself, that's where I've had the most difficulty in the past. Sometimes it's like there's this wall in my mind that I cannot get around, over, under, or through, and I simply cannot think of a powerful enough purpose to motivate myself. I think that's partly due to fear that any purpose I come up with is not good enough, it won't provide high enough stakes. But they touched on that a little bit in the book. One of the actors had the independent activity of putting together a puzzle. The motivation he chose to make the activity important was "winning a million dollars" if he completed the puzzle. But it wasn't working. Meisner said that's because it was an unrealistic motivation. He asked the actor what would be more realistic for him. The actor replied "A hundred dollars". And that's what worries me, I have no clue what would be a realistic motivator for me. A lot of times for my scenes, I simply tell myself it's important and go with that, but I never really know why. I hope that my subconsious knows, and that it comes across honestly.

I also started thinking about the outward manifestation of character, that seems to be something I have difficulty with as well. But then it occured to me vocal patterns, physical ways of moving, those could be equivalent to learning an accent. Learning an accent doesn't affect the emotion of a line, doesn't affect listening and responding.

And even though I feel like I'm starting to get a clearer picture of how acting tools fit together, sometimes I feel like I know absolutely nothing about acting, I feel clueless. But perhaps that is me simply thinking way too much, creating a problem where there is none.