Day 2: Meisner Technique

Today was really awesome, I'm really getting this stuff! I am absolutely certain this is one of the best things I have done to help move my acting career forward.

Our class was taught today by Eugene Buica, who is the founder and artistic director of The Acting Corps. He's made it a tradition to teach the first day of the first level Meisner class, probably so he can get a feel for his incoming students, and also perhaps to make himself more accessible to us, so that he's not a high & mighty VIP that everyone hears about but only the elite few get to talk to.

One of the things we discussed today is that an actor's purpose is to move the audience, to make the audience feel something. If we focus on making ourselves feel something, no one is going to give a crap how much we as an actor feel. But if we can make our partner feel something, the audience feel something, the casting directors feel something, then we will get work.

Anyhow, today we worked on repetition exercises again, which does not really describe the purpose of the exercise. You make an observation about the other person, say it out loud: "Black shirt." The person says that to you and you say it back and it goes on and on. You don't put any inflection or meaning or anything into the words, but as you speak you observe and listen to the other person. Eventually (in some cases sooner than others) you start to communicate underneath the repetitions, with body language, tone of voice, facial expressions. But the key is not to purposefully seek out that stuff, you just let the repetition turn your logic off, and the communication will happen naturally. And that is the goal of the Meisner technique, to bring that naturalness of communcation and reaction into our acting.

WARNING: Ego-maniac ahead!

Both times that I was on stage to do an exercise, I did really well, and I know I did really well because of the look on Eugene's face. There was this intense shine in his eyes and a small, pleased smile. GO ME! I wasn't the only one who got that look today, however, which is great, that means I'm in an awesome group and, as I said yesterday, we are going to learn so much from working with each other. And that makes me so happy because in other classes I've taken, I usually end up working with someone at a lower skill level, I'm really looking forward to working with people who are more or less at the same level as me.

And Eugene is a sharp observer, there was one point during the exercise that I was repeating what was said, but I had noticed the joy in my partner's facial expression. Immediately, Eugene said, "Is there something about her that you see that you're not saying?" Yes, as a matter of fact there was. So the next time I saw something, I went with the impulse and said it.

As the exercise progressed, Eugene was talking to my partner about what she had chosen to observe about me. She had picked, "Tilted head" and he asked her, "Did you notice anything else about her? Did you notice that she had a big grin on her face? That big, thousand watt smile? She has so much energy and she's so open and giving, I think that trumps a tilted head, don't you?" He was very kind and constructive the way he said it, he didn't make her wrong for her choice, simply pointed out that there was perhaps a better one.

The whole time he said that, I kept my eyes on the ground and shut myself off to reacting to the compliment, because I don't want to be singled out or put on a higher level than anyone else in the class. I am also very much afraid of getting a huge ego, I'm afraid of believing that I'm better than I really am. But secretly inside, I was ecstatic, "Wow, I have a thousand watt smile?? I'm doing that well?? WOO-HOOO!!"

But my reaction to the compliment got me thinking about how closed I am in real life. And this ties in with the lonliness I feel. I have friends who I know like me, but I don't really hang out with my friends, they're too busy most of the time. But I think perhaps I haven't made a big enough effort for them to want to make time for me. And even then, sometimes they're too busy, which is them, not me.

Anyhow, I know I've isolated myself as a form of self-protection, and I think for the first time I'm finally starting to understand why. If I have the capacity to be so naturally open, it's too easy for me to get hurt, too easy to be taken advantage of, and frankly it probably scares the crap out of a lof of people. And I haven't found an in between yet. Either I'm open or I'm closed. When I allow myself to be open, knowing that most people won't/don't want to connect with me, I feel desperate and lonely, and it creates feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. So I choose to be closed most of the time.

Anyhow, our regular Meisner teacher was sitting in on the class as well, and after class was over as he passed by me, he smiled and patted my shoulder, said, "Good job today!" I accepted that compliment, "Thank you!" YAY ME!