Pensive

I made a statement in my MySpace profile: "I am pursuing a career in TV/Film, I'm just getting started really. (Even though I began my journey 5 years ago.)" And it got me thinking, why has it taken me so long?

One big reason was fear. Even though I made the discovery and decision that an acting career is what I wanted, there was still massive amounts of fear of actually doing and succeeding to overcome.

Another reason was lack of knowledge of the business, and I didn't know where to begin finding that knowledge until last year when I discovered Bob Fraser's book , You Must Act! and his free e-zine Show Biz How-To. And the knowledge I gained from him led me to other sources of information, and now only in the last 6 months do I really feel prepared to really begin my journey.

And the third really big reason was after doing background work for a year, I decided to go back to school to learn massage therapy so I could have a more stable income. The massage program took two years, and then once I graduated I was side-tracked by the idea that I wanted my own massage business, and I gave that a go for a year. And during all of that time, I was distracted from taking real action to achieve my acting goals.

It has only been over the last six months that I've really felt ready to pursue my goals, only in the last six months that I've started taking real action towards my goals. I got my current headshots taken in March. I signed up with Now Casting and began submitting myself. I took professional acting classes. And now, I really feel ready to move forward. I'll have my new headshots taken mid-October (with professional lighting instead of the ultra-natural lighting on my current pics). I'll buy more than 5 copies of my headshots--I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I did that. I only bought 5 photographic prints (not lithos) of each of my two headshots, I think on the premise that since my headshots basically are unsolicited advertising (which, assuming the advertising is effective, has a return rate of 2%-4%), if I submit to 100 projects and my headshots are effective, I should get 2-4 auditions out of that, and therefore I only needed 5 prints to start out with, especially since I would mostly be submitting online, until I found out if I would get the 2-4 auditions, at which point I would order a couple hundred litho copies.

Are you confused yet?? Me too. (Was that really such a bad idea?)

Anyhow, I realize now that I need at least a hundred copies to start out with so I can mail them to production companies, casting directors, and agents, in addition to submitting myself online. The more lottery tickets you buy, the better your chance of winning. And for the record, the cost of my 5 photographic prints each of my two headshots plus 5 prints of my 3/4 shots (15 prints total) ended up costing just as much as 100 litho copies of one of my headshots. So might as well buy more tickets for the same amount of money, yes?

I heard a story about Chinese Bamboo (I think?): You plant it and for years and years (something like 8 or 9 years) nothing happens, it doesn't appear to be growing. But then one day after all these years, it will sprout and grow like 15 feet in two days. All the years that nothing appeared to be happening, it was growing roots deep into the ground to be able to support the sprouts when they finally grew. So I guess a good way to look at it is for the past several years I've been growing the roots, and now it's time to start sprouting!