The Door Is Open!

The door is open with an opportunity to get my foot in!

My interview with the commercial agent went really well! While I was driving, I listened to a couple of my favorite CD's, singing along, so that when I got to the office two hours later I was in a good, relaxed, confident mood.

Apparently my friend gave me a good reputation, because after only talking for a few minutes to the agent (who I shall call B.), B. said he thought he could work with me, said my friend had told him I'm a really good actor. He also seemed to think I won't have any problems getting work. He asked me if I'd taken any commercial acting workshops, and I said I'd studied with Ron Michaelson, and he said, "Oh, you won't be intimidated going to a commercial call then!" Which I agree with because Ron's a very thorough teacher.

So, we looked at my current headshots which B. said he couldn't use, which I pretty much knew already. I've only gotten one audition from of 50 submissions with my current headshots. We also discussed what I should do with my hair, what would be more marketable. He said he likes my hair curly, but having it straight gives me a more mature look. So we decided perhaps the best route was to style it straight, but to take hot curlers to my photo session, and take pictures with my hair both ways.

He showed me the kind of headshots he's looking for, and it turns out I get to play dress up! I'll need basic theatrical headshots (business, upscale casual), and then as many different creative looks/characters as I can come up with, such as nurse, judge, homeless, etc. for example (Not that "judge" or "homeless" are types I can do personally, but they're examples he showed me.)

And once I've got my new headshots, he'll start sending me out on auditions, and once I've booked a job, he'll sign me to the agency. And once I've signed with him as a commercial agent, he said the theatrical agent he works with will probably want to sign me too. OMG!!!!

So, the only way I won't get signed is if I screw this up, either by not getting good enough headshots or by not booking from my auditions. So, I give myself permission to get it right this time. I give myself permission to be my wonderful, charismatic self for my headshots, I give myself permission to create wonderfully colorful characters that are appropriate to me for my headshots, I give myself permission to be fully relaxed and fully creative during auditions. I give myself permission to put my foot through the open door. I give myself permission to succeed!

What I learned from this experience: I really need to just relax and be confident, and be myself. Trust that I am enough, that I have the necessary charisma when I'm relaxed and confident, that I am creative and spontaneous enough. Talking to B, observing his reactions to me while we talked, I felt like he saw me and I was shining. And as I observed the reflection of myself from B, I realized I felt like I was shining, that I had been from the moment I walked in the door. And he said from talking with me, that I won't have any problems moving forward in the business. If I hadn't felt relaxed and confident, I wouldn't have trusted what he said, I wouldn't have trusted that the shine I saw reflected in his interaction with me was really there, was really coming from me. But I could feel it on the inside, it's the same shine I felt in my acting class last summer. I need to learn to trust myself in all circumstances and keep that shine.

I give myself permission to shine!