So the other night, I woke up at 4 am with the sudden realization of how to portray the character of Libby in my "Blue Window" monologue. I was just suddenly awake with all these thoughts running through my head, so I got out of bed and wrote them down, so I could get back to sleep. The last time I did this monologue for my acting class 2 years ago, I didn't really create a character for it, I performed it more or less as myself. But at 4 am, I suddenly had such a clear picture of who she is, how she acts, how she might react emotionally to the words she is speaking, the experience she is describing. I'm really excited to continue working on this monologue, I think it will be extremely powerful when I pull all the elements together. I have a month to work on this monologue before The Laramie Project auditions. I've set a goal for myself to have the monologue completely analyzed & memorized and ready to work on the performance aspect in two weeks, at which time I will have a friend video my performance, so I can critique myself, and so that I'm also following up on the goal I set for myself to begin working with cameras.
New Topic: When I was at the MMI seminar, we did a lot of emotional work on the third day. Part of the work was picking three negative beliefs we held, and feeling the emotion tied to those beliefs as strongly as we could, see if we could feel where the emotion was located in our bodies. I found it interesting because the emotions of my first belief were located in my throat chakra, I felt all choked up, but unable to cry. The second belief was located in my heart chakra, I could feel my heart breaking, but again, I was unable to cry. The third belief was located in my solar plexus chakra (the soft area of your stomach below your breastbone), and that's when I was finally able to let my pain go and start crying. I think that experience is an important one to acting...now I know where I need to feel something to connect to pain that makes me cry. And I can explore where the characters I portray may feel different emotions...
Another New Topic: I've discovered why I (and perhaps so many other actors) tend to take rejection personally. I was looking at what I wrote about my audition for Mr. 80%, both on this blog and in my private journal. I wrote, "I think the director liked me." And that's when it hit me: The director doesn't like or dislike me, he doesn't even know me. What he likes or dislikes is my audition performance. And my audition performance is not part of who I am as a person, so there's no need to take it personally. Even if I gave the best audition that I could, and I'm still not cast, that could mean a bunch of other things: My audition performance didn't match what they're looking for, I physically don't match what they're looking for (age, weight, appearance), I need to increase my skill level, or someone else simply was a better match than I was. None of that has to do with me as a person, none of that has to do with my own self-worth.
And that's all the ramblings I have for today.
1 comment:
Hi there, i've just come across your blog and i think we have heaps in common! i did a google search on 'coffee after the storm' looking for some info on the play after finding the monologue in a book called one on one.
Firstly, my name is Isabel too!
I'm in my third and final year of a 3year degree in acting in Ballarat, Victoria, Australia.
I also have a home based business (noticed your mary k link) with USANA.
I've got a blog on Livejournal.com there i'm called bare_feeted it's not an acting journal like yours but i do talk about my work there quite a bit.
let's be internet acting buddies!
do you know much about 'coffee after the storm'? I'm looking for a piece to do for an assignment. I have to do a solo piece involving an apple and a chair but the objects are abstracted so you can't use the apple as an apple or chair as chair.
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