Monologue, Take 2

I went to my aunt's house (my cousin Christel's mom) this evening for dinner and to give my aunt a massage, and she said that Christel had mentioned to her that I have a very impressive monologue. That surprised me, and I asked what else Christel had said about it. My aunt said that she'd asked what it was about, and that Christel wouldn't say, she just wanted my aunt to experience it. That stunned me: My monologue is something to be experienced?? I took it as a huge compliment.

So after dinner and the massage, Christel's brother showed up, and he and my aunt were talking at the table. My aunt asked if I would perform my monologue, and I said "Yes" but I needed a minute to focus. So I went in the other room where they wouldn't stare at me, and attempted to focus and connect to my monologue, but they were talking so loudly, it was very distracting. But I know that I need to learn to connect to whatever work I'm doing in spite of distractions, so I focused as best I could. Finally I went back to the table with them, and performed my monologue. It didn't go well. For one, I was sitting in the wrong position, for whatever stupid reason I allowed myself to sit much more relaxed in my chair than I should have to maintain a strong connection to the monologue. And two, I believe that I wasn't able to connect as much as I would have liked to the monlogue simply because of the distractions.

When I performed the monologue yesterday for Christel, I had the luxury of sitting quitely undisturbed in an almost meditative state for several minutes before performing my monologue. But I know that I won't have that luxury at an audition, that I need to find a way to connect strongly to my monologue in spite of all distractions. And I know that I have the ability to do that, because I always do it with the piano pieces I play. The moment I sit down at the piano, I am 100% connected to the piece I will play before I ever play the first note. And I don't have to take any meditative time to focus or connect to the music, I am just there in the moment, connected. And a monologue is no different than playing a piece of music. If I can do it with music, I can do it with acting.

Anyhow, the three of us had a good discussion about the subtext of the monologue, I saw my monologue from a new angle, and got some new useful ideas. Then my aunt asked me if I wanted to try again. I said sure, and I told them not to be quiet while I focused again, because I need to learn to focus in spite of distractions. When I performed the monologue this second time, I felt much more connected (although not as much as yesterday), and both my aunt and my cousin said it was much better the second time around.

So now I have two things to work on. Creating an emotional connection to the beginning of the piece, and learning/finding a way to focus and connect to the whole piece in spite of distraction. Good stuff to know. Good stuff to work on to improve my skill and grow as an artist.