Meisner class

I haven't written about my class previously because the last couple of weeks have been review for me, stuff I already learned in my previous class. I was happy to discover that my perceptiveness in repetition hasn't deteriorated any since then, and over all I'm much more open and connected. But I've discovered that I'm using my perceptiveness as a shield to keep my partner from actually seeing me. They see what I want them to see, and even though I am right there with them, connected, I am still thinking a lot.

So now our class is taking a different turn than the one I previously took. This class is the entire Meisner basic program as taught by Meisner himself, except the 2 year program has been condensed into 5 months. Now there is not so much emphasis on straight up repetition, but we're working more on repeating within improvisations on activities we bring. For example, in last night's class, the activity I brought was extending pricing sheets from work (Quantity x Price for each line item, then totalling the sheet) I brought an adding machine from work with no paper so there was no way for me to double check the math without re-adding everything on the sheet for a second time. The imaginary circumstances that I brought to this activity was "My boss wants these sheets finished in 10 minutes without any mistakes. I've been making a lot of mistakes at work recently, and if I turn them in with any mistakes, I'll be fired on the spot. If I am fired, I can't pay rent, I get kicked out, and I also loose my health insurance. My boss said to me Don't make me regret hiring you."

So with me working on the pricing sheets under those imaginary circumstances, my scene partner enters the room and starts repeating with me based on my behavior.

I've been having a hard time the last couple of weeks really allowing myself to respond fully. I'm still much too polite. I think I've been protecting as well, I'm already feeling very sensitive and vulnerable because of some personal issues that have popped up recently that I'm dealing with.

Anyhow, our instructor suggested that I find more empowering activities, that I can live the part of the underdog very well, and I need to challenge myself by finding activities that allow me to stand up for myself.