Realizations

I've got my new monologue more or less memorized, and I'm starting to analyze it. I've started with a technique called "Practical Esthetics", created by David Mammet & William H. Macy. Some of their acting students wrote a book on this technique called A Practical Handbook For The Actor. It's a fairly simply technique, designed to create greater emotional honesty in a performance. The book focuses on scene analysis, and doesn't really go into any of the other necessary skills such as character history, obstacles, how to create a character through movement, etc. Anyhow, I figure this is a good place to start since I have such a short time to get this monologue together.

And I'm realizing as I skim through this book, and think back on what I learned from the other technique book I have, The Actor's Checklist, that my frustrations about not knowing this stuff is really just me being incredibly hard on myself. I think back to the suggestions Christel had for me as we worked on the other monologue, and all of those suggestions are there in these books, and were probably talked about in the classes I took as well. The problem is, I just haven't learned how to effectively use these tools & techniques yet. The fact is, a lot of times, I get so caught up in focusing on creating the "ideal" emotional response for a monologue/scene, that I forget all about these tools and techniques. I haven't learned how to even "hold" them yet, much less use them effectively. It's as if I keep dropping the tools. I loose focus on what I need to accomplish as an actor. I suppose emotional response should be the last thing I worry about, if I worry about it at all. Focusing on the emotion is a bad habit I got into during my first classes (at the SCR Adult Conservatory!) and I didn't realize until now that I was doing that, and that it is inappropriate. So I need to stop feeling stupid for "not knowing" this stuff, because I'm still learning, at a very basic level, apparently. *sigh* (Because my bad habit prevented me from learning any of this while I was taking classes. BAH!)

Anyhow, new topic: I got to see the first hour of Prick Up Your Ears, starring Gary Oldman and Alfred Molina. (Apparently Tivo decided only to record the first hour, for some unknown reason.) This is another one of those movies where Molina's performance is totally blowing me away. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest. I'm a little bit nervous about watching the rest of it still, but so far there's only been two male-male kissing scenes, and I wasn't as uncomfortable watching that as I'd expected I would be.

I also watched One Special Victory with Kathy Baker, and she had a larger role in this movie than the previous movies I've watched. But, I found myself captivated by John Laroquette's performance. Granted he was the "star" of the movie, so he got more camera time, but he seemed so connected and so in the moment. I've only ever seen him in Night Court before now, and I haven't watched that show for years.

I'm also beginning to rethink my choice of Baker as a role model. Because in most of the movies I've seen her in so far, even when she has a larger role, I haven't been captivated by her, I guess they aren't really interesting characters to begin with. And so many times, she's just the generic mom with barely any lines. I realize that's not her fault, and I still think she's a wonderfully talented actress with a lot more versatility than I've seen in her movies so far, with the exception of Edward Scissorhands. But I don't want to play be the generic mom, or generic neighbor. I want to play interesting characters. And I'm wondering how much of a choice I have. I don't really know realistically how many interesting & complicated roles there are for women in Hollywood. And perhaps that's why I've been having such a hard time finding a female role model. I know that even Meryl Streep and Glenn Close (as women over 40) have been having a hard time finding interesting roles, there just aren't that many well-written parts for women in that age range. And I'm trying to think of movies that have well-written, interesting parts for women 25 - 35, and I'm having a hard time thinking of any movies, or actresses even, other than Sandra Bullock and Helen Hunt. There seem to be more possibilities in TV shows. I don't know, I'll need to do more research about that...