Audition for "The Laramie Project"

I auditioned tonight for The Laramie Project. There were so many people there tonight! There was a sign in sheet when I arrived, I signed in as #17, they were still on #4. So I sat and waited with everyone else, I think I ended up waiting about 90 minutes, and the list had grown to 28 people. I noticed some people that came out after their audition left right away, but some sat down again. Eventually one of the guys who was assisting with the auditions (and who I recognized as the actor who played Iago in the college production of Othello I saw not too long ago) said that due to the number of people who were auditioning tonight, the director was requesting that the people who had been asked to stay to do cold readings from the script would come back tomorrow night at 8:30pm. But if they couldn't come back tomorrow to talk to him or the other assistant. So I assumed arrangements could be made.

Finally it was my turn to audition, I was taken backstage to a tiny room where the director and 3 other people sat. I introduced myself, shook the director's hand as he introduced himself and the other 3. He looked at my audition sheet, asked if I had any conflicts with the rehearsal/performance schedule, I said "no". He smiled and said, "Very good, I like that." Then he asked me what I'd be doing for them, so I told them Rita from Prelude To A Kiss.

I sat down, but I was nervous, and by this time I had totally lost focus. And I didn't think to take time to re-focus before I started my monologue. By the second sentence I could tell how badly I was doing, I felt so disconnected. I stopped and hid my face in my hands because I was embarrassed that I had screwed up. "I'm sorry, could I please start again?"

The director said, very kindly, "Yes, take a deep breath." So I did, slow breath in, slow breath out. I focused on my first moment, and started again. I was still somewhat shaky in the beginning, added an extra line or two while I tried to get a hold of it. I finally caught a solid hold on the 5th line, and the monologue went smoothly from there.

When I was done, the director said he liked it, and asked if I was available to come back for a cold reading tomorrow. I said "No, my cousin's college graduation is tomorrow evening." The director sucked in his breath, and said, "Ooooooo!" (like a really big 'Ouch!') Then he said, "Well, I guess that's pretty special, it only happens one time. Okay. Thank you."

I was stunned. I wanted to ask if there were other options, or if I definitely would not be considered anymore because I couldn't come back, but after a moment, I simply smiled and said, "Thank you." I figured that was the professional thing to do.

As I walked out, I began to feel angry. Angry that the door had apparently been slammed in my face because I couldn't come back for the cold reading. Angry because my schedule wouldn't allow me to come back. I supposed there was still a possibility that they might call and cast me anyway, but from what the director said, it seemed extremely unlikely. Then I just let the anger go, and was left feeling disappointed. And I reminded myself that the same situation would occur in Hollywood as well, and that I had already decided that if there was a conflict between taking a job and my being at an important family gathering, I would choose my family, and trust the Universe that it would work out for the best in the long run.

So, when I got home, I told Christel what had happened, and she said that Greg's graduation would probably be done by 7pm, 7:30 at the very latest: Turns out it's his graduation from the Police Academy, not his college graduation. Which means that I can still make the cold reading call backs after that. I'm going to arrive early, talk to one of the assistants, and hopefully they'll still allow me to do the cold reading.

And I've learned from this audition that even if I think I'm prepared enough with a monologue to audition, between nerves & distractions, it probably won't be enough. I have to remember to be over-prepared, so that my nerves don't take my performance down like they did today. Or the distractions of being friendly to the director and assistants during the introductions. And I really have to buckle down on myself in rehearsing my monologues, because every single time I was rehearsing this monologue over the last two days, I would say a line, mentally judge it, and immediately repeat it in an attempt to say it better. I think I got from beginning to end without stopping maybe 2 or 3 times in all the times I ran through it. Very bad habit to get into. Got to put a stop to it.