Which Way Is Up?

*Sigh*  I went to a vertigo physical therapy class on Friday, and today is the first day I've been off all meds, thank goodness, but I am still very down and dragged out physically and emotionally, and am not sure if I feel better yet or not. I think I do... or will once I'm not dragged out any more....?

I'm so glad to be off the meds though, because the day after my audition, the day after starting the new meds that were making me so tired, the very next day 3 hours into work, I started crying hysterically and shaking like a leaf for no reason other than I was so incredibly tired. So my sister took me to urgent care, where they put me on a different anti-dizziness med, which made me 99% as sleepy, so after I got home from urgent care at 2:30 pm Thursday, I slept until 11:30 am Friday, when I got up, downed more caffeine, and went to the vertigo physical therapy class.

I think the technique they taught us at the therapy class will help/is helping, but I'm still worried there are other issues that have not been resolved yet... *sigh* time will tell.

So, the interview/audition. I didn't get a call back, which I more or less knew as soon as I walked out. And considering how I freaked out the next day, I was probably more messed up in my interview than I previously believed/realized.

The interview was with the writer/producer to get a feeling for my personality, to decided if he wanted to call me back to audition for one of the roles. Which if I had known that, and if I had known the true synopsis of the show which wasn't revealed until I got to the office for the interview, I wouldn't have submitted in the first place. (The synopsis given at the office was completely different than the mini-synopsis given in the casting notice, btw.) After reading the synopsis, I knew I wasn't right for the show anyway, in personality and character.  The whole thing was a waste of my time from that stand point. But such is the prerogative of non-union casting, I suppose. And I guess it's my own fault for submitting to a casting notice that did not have a break down in the first place.

Anyhow, I didn't purposely screw up the interview. I'm not sure what the deciding factor on the producer's part was, perhaps it was a combination of things. He said that I do have the right look for one of the roles. He asked me questions like where was I from, what kind of job I had, why did I pick acting, stuff like that. But he mostly seemed uninterested in my responses, and did not make a lot of eye contact with me. Mostly he was looking at my headshot and resume. But since I don't know the man at all, I thought perhaps it didn't necessarily mean anything bad. He did comment that I had a lot of good training. And I did make a point of saying I had full flexibility from my job to go to auditions and film when I get cast. But then after a few minutes he says, "Ok, I've learned everything I need to know."

And then he doesn't say anything else. Which throws me for a loop since there were other actors he'd seen before me who were actually auditioning for a specific role. Somehow, I thought because he'd said I was right for one of the roles that I was being considered. I would have expected him to say, "Talk to my secretary to set up an audition." But he doesn't say anything else. 

So I stand, shake his hand, and say with my friendliest smile, "Well, it was good to meet you." He smiles politely, and doesn't say anything. I turn towards the door, trying to think how best to ask when he would make a decision. That comes out of my mouth, "Soooo..."

He says "We'll be in touch."

I left feeling confused, (that's how messed up I was, apparently) not sure if I was being considered or not, but under the impression that perhaps I was... But as I drove home, I finally realized, "We'll be in touch" was the equivalent to "Don't call us, we'll call you." Especially since he was already auditioning people.

It's all good. As I said before, I don't think I would have fit very well with the premise of the show. And I'm fine with the rejection. Got to hear 99 no's to get one "yes". It's just part of the business and nothing personal.

I have more thoughts on this, on what I could have done differently, especially stuff that I learned from Bob at An Actor Works, but I am too tired to write about it now, and this post has gotten too long anyhow.