Not Good Enough

About a week ago, I figured out how I wanted to film Sabrina's monologue for the LiveMansion: The Movie contest, I understood the character. And I was very excited about the idea, it would be fun, it would be creative, but it required at least two other people. One to run the camera, and at least one other person to be a non-speaking actor in the scene. It would also require the person I borrowed the camera from to actually have time to edit the piece together. And at this busy time of year, none of my friends were available to help me out. I also asked some of the director contestants if they wanted to work together since they had to film scenes too, most said they'd prefer to work with actors they've worked with before. And I completely respect that decision on their part.

So I kept turning the idea over in my head, and finally created Plan B that would work with just me and one other person to run the camera, and again I was excited about my idea. And so this morning, I enlisted my mother's help, even though she is technologically challenged. I helped her learn how to work the camera in the way I needed. I put on full make-up for filming, we went through a few blocking rehearsals, and then...! I forgot my lines. I hadn't touched the monologue for two weeks, and I had assumed I still had it inside, but it wasn't there nearly as solidly as I had thought. After several takes, I was able to get through to the end of the monologue and my performance was actually very good I thought watching it back, but I would stumble slightly on a word, or momentarily forget the next line, and that is not good enough. If I submit an audition video where I'm obviously stumbling on a line, or trying to remember the next line, what does that say about my professionalism? What does that say about how I would work on a set?

So, as much as I was hoping to get Sabrina's monologue filmed today, it didn't happen, because I wasn't as prepared as I needed to be. So I'm feeling somewhat down, but determined to know the lines backwards and forwards, and put more time into rehearsal so that next time I have the opportunity to film, which won't be until after Christmas, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday next week, I can nail this sucker in one take.