I Am The Sponge

Lately, while watching movies and TV, I've become a sponge. I'm just soaking it all up, watching how the actors go about acting, what they do to convey emotions, what they do physically in relation to the camera to create a dramatic visual without sacrificing honesty.

Every moment I watch, I feel an overwhelming desire and energy to be doing that also. I take a deep breath and remind myself to have patience, that soon enough we'll have enough of the script for my web series completed that we can start pre-production, and then production, and it will be my turn, finally.

I've also been mulling over the types of roles/characters I'm attracted to as an actor in the stuff I'm watching, the types of roles that I want to be cast in. And in spite of my five roles, the majority of films/roles/characters that I am most attracted to most often seem to be written for men. These are the roles in which the main character must grow beyond his own limitations, must face challenging obstacles difficult to overcome, go through great emotional upheaval, and face all of these with courage and strength even though he struggles and almost fails at times -- Harry Potter, Stardust, Phantom of the Opera, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Spiderman, The Lord Of The Rings, Chuck, I wish I could think of more, because I know there are. They don't seem to write these types of roles for women, and I'm not sure why. I can't think of any movies with women in that type of role. Yes, there are the Tomb Raider/Lara Croft, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Panic Room, Flight Plan, Charlie's Angels action/thriller type roles, and they (Angelina Jolie, Jodi Foster) are very strong women in strong roles, but somehow it's not the same. Those women are strong from the beginning, and don't grow on their journey. They have the strength all along and they know it. They never question their strength. It seems to me there is more vulnerability & emotional struggle in the men's roles. And if a woman's role does have that same vulnerability, it's not in the same type of movie, it's Miss Potter or Romancing The Stone, not these epic stories. Or they are supporting characters to the male lead, it's not the woman's story. Or the role is for a child: Pan's Labyrinth, The Golden Compass.

So I've come to a decision. I will produce these types of movies with this type of leading role for women. I wasn't sure if my web series would be my only foray into producing, but now I've realized I need to create the opportunities that I want for myself.